


Learning how to feel

by GroshJoban



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, The Mandalorian (TV)
Genre: Angst, First Time, M/M, Pining, Porn cleverly disguised as plot, Self-Esteem Issues, Swearing, The inherent homoeroticism of being a space mercenary, Weird Biology, Wet Dream, hormone mis-management, minor PTSD, the concept of a guy punching you so hard you hit puberty and get a crush on him is so funny to me
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-18
Updated: 2020-12-18
Packaged: 2021-03-11 03:41:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 3,564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28158483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/GroshJoban/pseuds/GroshJoban
Summary: Migs Mayfeld is a hot mess he really should have gone to Imperial discharge medical appointment because now he’s stuck with weird feelings about a Mandalorian and no clue of what to do. Lol
Relationships: Din Djarin & Migs Mayfeld, Din Djarin/Migs Mayfeld
Comments: 13
Kudos: 86





	1. A what in my what?

**Author's Note:**

> Lol I always come back to writing fanfics in time of awful stress so this is a nice break I hope y’all enjoy!! <333

Migs Mayfeld is a steaming hot mess. Serving in the first order had fried his brain a little but who wouldn’t end up damaged after all that. He had joined too young and served for too long. It was hard to tell exactly how it had changed him, that’s one of the tricky parts of joining young, he would sometimes wonder if maybe he was always messed up. 

He couldn’t sleep for more than two, maybe three hours at a time. Lots of nightmares, sometimes they were memories an flashbacks sometimes he was just afraid and alone in the dark. And those nightmares were worse than the flashbacks. Food didn't taste as good as it used to, it was fuel to get from point A to B. He couldn’t go back home after he was discharged, he wasn’t sure if anyone was still there and he was even more afraid to find out they were. The worst part of him that changed is that he had a severe intolerance for normalcy. 

One time he was normal. He woke up and went to school, went to work, he ate dinners with friends and family and told jokes and had fun. Now he couldn't stomach normal, it left a bad taste in his mouth. So Migs decided to do the easiest and most abnormal job he could think of, which was mercenary work. He can shoot stuff and take stuff he got to be the guy in charge again and it was a lot of fun.

Until he met that big metal asshole. He was just trying to punch in and punch out. How often do you get a job this easy? One organic crew mate? No way he would blow this one. It was supposed to be easy. But of COURSE the MANDALORIAN had to go rogue and take them down one by one. It was the most insane experience he had ever had. Who in their right mind did that?? Migs spent a good hour and a half hiding and practically shitting his pants whenever he heard an exhaust valve until Mando finally got to him and kicked his ass so hard he could only be in certain positions on the nasty thin prison transport bed. 

But when he laid down in that dank transport cell, he could still feel his heart beating in his ears. He was pissed but it was almost thrilling to get chased down and beat up. Which is messed up. But it wasn’t normal. It actually felt weird when Mando was holding him down on the cold ground sitting on his chest. He sat there for longer than necessary, just looking at him, breathing heavily. Migs had long stopped fighting, and he was about to say something smart assed until he got knocked out and woke up in a cell. 

Every night for a week or so after that is when the dreams started. It was his usual blackout nightmare. But he wasn’t afraid. He just heard the deep modulated heavy breathing of a certain helmeted pain in his ass and he just felt weird. Really weird. He couldn’t describe the feeling besides..... weird. Even when Migs woke up he felt even weirder. 

After a few days he woke up hot all over and covered in sweat and his heart was pounding in his ears. His crotch was so hard and painful he had to lay down on the cold floor, face down until he felt better. That morning he asked to be seen by the prisons doctor because he was certain he might be dying a little. He was still on the transport going to Karthon so he had to get assessed by a droid and have a video conference with the doctor. 

The droid took his vitals, administered an extremely late tetanus vaccine (which he might need after getting hit with a dirty metal gauntlet) and scanned his overall body. The doctor wouldn’t be available until after breakfast so he sat in the tiny metal cell eating awful slop waiting for the droid to reactivate and he could figure out what had happened to him. 

Soon the crackle of a video transmission turned his attention to the droid. “INMATE 34667?” The doctor yelled loudly into whatever microphone was on her end. “Uh... sure whatever...” replied Migs awkwardly. “Excellent!” She continued to scream as her head went off the view of the transmission so she could really get close to scream at the microphone. 

“The droid has send me your preliminary information and data but would you mind elaborating on the circumstances at which concern you on your medical status?” 

“Uh... ok” he replied, shifting his eyes as if he expected someone to be there to exchange a what the hell look. “I was um... sleeping..” the doctor nodded aggressively “ and I woke up sweating, and uh... my heart was ah beatin fast, and I was um havin pain in uh certain parts of my body.” He struggled to get through his story as he watched the doctor write something then start messaging someone else. She read a message and giggled, turning back to the video and clearing her throat slightly.

“Your vitals are overall unremarkable and your blood shows no sign of infection so I do not believe you are ill.” Migs almost breathed a sigh of relief 

“However”. His eyes darted back to the screen. 

“It appears that on the scan of your brain that you have an Imperial model XII hormone modulator has become dislodged and made redundant.” She said thoughtfully, typing down on her data pad.

“Uh hey do you mind uh lettin me know what the hell that means??!” Migs said, freaking out a little. He started gripping at his uniform while the doctor continued to message and giggle, oblivious to his rising frustration. 

She did not look up but continues to speak “it’s very common in former Imperial soldiers from your time of service. When you were drafted the hormone modulator was inserted into your brain to manage certain human drives the Empire finds unnecessary, to manage troops better.” She finally looked up. “Did you not attend your post service discharge where the removal was due?” She asked before looking back down.

“No I thought that was stupid so I just kind of.. left the planet.” Migs was really feeling worried now, what the hell did getting the stupid modulator out mean for him. “Did you not read your post discharge instructional pamphlet?” 

“Lady do I look like a guy who reads?” 

She shrugged and typed something on her screen. 

“Regardless, you may experience night sweats, mood swings, trouble sleeping, vivid dreams, loss of appetite and strong.. urges.” 

  
“What the hell does that mean?!”


	2. Bad Dreams

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nothing bad can happen after your brain chemistry gets violently altered right? Nothing weird right??

“ Well inmate 34667, all beings have certain urges. As I’m sure you know certain biological- actually you wouldn’t know.” She said, nervously obviously avoiding the topic. Migs just kept squinting at the screen as she uhm’d and uh’d.

“ I... have another patient to see! Whatever you may feel be it physical or emotional is completely normal! Please refer yourself to the medical droids if you develop any symptoms lasting longer than four hours! Goodbye!” And the screen shut off as the droid powered back up and quickly sped from the room almost like it was running from him as well. 

“What the hell.” Migs muttered, shaking his head as the door slid shut and he was alone in his cell again. “How did this even happen?” He said angrily, his body tensed up as he clenched his teeth. Migs has never felt so angry, he gripped into his thighs so hard there would definitely be marks on his skin. “ I was fine! Totally fine! Now I’m completely screwed up! Nothing was wrong until...” he stopped himself as he remembered his fight with The Mandalorian.

He closed his eyes and could almost feel his weight on his hips, just sitting on him. Mando had been grabbing at his shirt pulling him half up as he just stared at him, breathing. He was probably sweating under that suit too, he had been gripping at Migs’s body with his thighs, holding him in place for far too long. Just looking at him.

When it had actually happened Migs felt really awkward but now as he looked back on it, he felt a pressure rising right in his stomach. He was suddenly warm, sweat was forming at the back of his neck and on his forehead. “I guess when that asshole hit me it turned whatever the thing in my brain was off.” He said wiping his face with his sleeve. He decided it was time to lay on the floor again when his groin started getting hard again. 

Once he felt alright again he sat back on the bed and tried to think of literally anything else. Which was hard in an small cell with just a bed and a bathroom. Droids would push through a tray of something that looked awful but other than that it was just him alone. The only other activity he could do was take a cold shower in the corner of his room for twenty minutes once per day. Which sounded like an excellent idea before he got into the shower.

But now as he stood, naked in the shower he just felt worse. He was still pissed about being in prison but he couldn’t think about the man who put him in there. “ I really hope that isn’t some kind of weird sign.” He muttered as he turned around in the cold water. Migs wasn't completely stupid. Sure he had no idea what was happening with his body but he vaguely remembered when he was young and in school. Something something hormones, changes, urges, getting taller, out of control hair growth all that. He did that part but now that we was thinking about it he had never really done the “Urges” part.

“No wonder they got rid of me doing this.”he said splashing cold water on his face. “I can’t even take a shower without being weird.” At that moment the water shut off and he was left standing there wishing it was still on. Unsure of what to do he dries himself off with his Republic issue threadbare towel. Migs usually avoided sleeping due to his nightmares but he was willing to take his chances so he wouldn’t have to think for a little while.

So he dozed off quickly, which was unusual for him but he has been using a lot of energy being so tightly wound that day. 

His dreams started out like usual, pitch black. It was so silent he could hear his heart beating. He felt afraid, this dream was shaping up to be a normal screaming in terror for two hours nightmare. As much as he hated normalcy he needed a little bit to keep him grounded. 

Suddenly smoke filled the blackness. He saw shadows of floors, walls and ceiling. He was in a hall. The halls of the prison ship he was currently being kept in. “Oh no.” He said quietly. “What the hell am I doin here?” He tried to run away but he felt a presence behind him. It grabbed him with strong arms and took him to the ground.

Migs struggles for a moment under the weight as the figure hooked his legs and held onto his shirt. He realized he didn’t feel afraid. He felt...not exactly excited, but like he was excited. He was waiting for something to happen. A flash in the corner of his eye turned his attention to the man holding him down. 

Who else could it be but The Mandalorian. 

“NOT YOU!” He yelled but nothing changed. The man only hooked his legs harder pressing himself on Migs’s groin. He felt the warmth and felt himself growing harder and harder. The other man ground himself onto Migs, harder and harder, pulling himself closer and closer. 

The pressure continues to build up until Migs feels as thought he would scream. He flailed out but could not grasp at anything. His breathing became ragged and the warmth continues to spread. It felt good, actually it had been the best thing he had ever felt. 

Oh course someone as messed up as himself would have a fantasy dream of a guy who beat him up grinding on his crotch, holding him down and breathing heavily in his ear.

Migs suddenly felt a burst of something, like the pressure had reached a peak. He looked up only to see a fist coming to his face at lightning speeds.

Suddenly he woke up in his bed. The sheets were wet and sticky down near his groin but he felt good actually. Relaxed for the first time in a long time. This lasted 35 seconds until a wave of regret and frustration hit him hard. Dread was pooling in the pit of his stomach as he cooled down overheated from the intense dream.

A sound at the door drew his attention, it was a droid dropping off dinner through a sliding hatch at the bottom of the door. He had been asleep all day? That hadn’t happened in years! The chip or whatever must be screwing something up in his brain. 

“Hey!” He called out to the droid on the other side of the door. “I got some kinda chip problem I need the doctor! And sheets too!” He yelled as he got into his uniform.

“I am unable to process your request due to the ship docking on Karthon shortly. You are welcome to wait until after you are processed with the other inmates” And with that the hatch was shut and the droid was gone.


	3. Space prison is scary but going to the doctor is scarier

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fellas, is it gay to have a malfunctioning hormone blocker chip that reveals your true feelings for other men?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Work really got away from me lol so I’m glad to have a moment to come back to this I hope y’all enjoy! <3

Much like the droid had said the ship docked on the planet. Migs figured he was there when a loud bang jolted through the whole ship, almost sending him falling from his bed. He had rolled up his other gross sheets and was laying on the awful thin pallet. He dressed in his jumpsuit quickly and heard the door unlock then swish open. 

A droid and some kind of fish headed guy wearing a republic logo, holding a blaster walked into the room. “ Inmate 43667, you are being transferred to the Republic Alliance detention facility quarantine wing. At this time you must be medically evaluated, sanitized and fitted for gear. You will stay at this location for a week, then you will be transferred to one of the many detention facilities on the planet.” The droid said before ducking back into the doorway as the fish guy advanced. 

“If you think that you can kill one of our own and think we won’t make your life miserable you got another thing comin.” He sneered at Migs. 

Migs rolled his eyes and scoffed in frustration “ Yeah pal too late on that one.” He muttered as he placed his hands out to be cuffed. He just wanted to get the whole process done with.

“You think you’re so tough!!?” Fish guy yelled. 

He moved quickly until he was right in Migs face, he grabbed him roughly and threw him to the floor. The man crashed down with a loud thud, groaning at the sudden pain in his body. The guard straddled him, grabbing his arms and pulling them behind his back before cuffing him tightly. 

Migs suddenly became breathless. He would kick himself for this later but he s q u i r m e d. His crotch was being pushed into the floor and the friction was addictive. He would never admit this to himself afterwards but for a brief second he closed his eyes and thought of a particular armoured pain in his ass but only for a split second. He had to get back to reality to stop himself from moaning 

Because moaning when you’re getting restrained is the fastest way to have a really bad time in prison. He steadied his breath and calmed down.

Until the guard grabbed his neck and pushed him down further as his gross fish leg found its way in between Migs’s legs. This was starting to look a little too much like a fantasy Migs would be recalling at a later date. But he just needed to get on the planet first. 

Good thing he knew the easiest way to get someone to get off you. 

“Listed pal.” Migs said between gritted teeth as his head was being ground into the cold metal floor. “This has been fun and all but I have uh Namorian lice and I wouldn’t want you to get colonized” 

The guard scoffed out a few sounds of disgust before pulling Migs up and ushering him roughly out the door. At arms length. A fact Migs was smugly proud of. 

He walked down the halls of the ship before exiting at the connection spot to a different building. A droid scanned him in and he was placed in a small room. A robotic voice over a speaker caught his attention. 

“REMOVE REPUBLIC ALLIANCE ISSUE JUMPSUIT AND PLACE ON LEFT.” It screeched 

“Whatever man, I just want to get into a room.” Migs fumbled as he undressed quickly, tossing the jumpsuit to the floor on his left. 

“PREPARE FOR DECONTAMINATION “ 

“Wait what?” 

A hard acrid smelling liquid was sprayed from multiple areas of the room. Migs sputtered and tried to shield himself from the spray but it was impossible. 

“STEP INTO OPEN DOOR TO RIGHT AND PREPARE OF MEDICAL EVALUATION AND GEAR FIT TESTING” 

Migs threw up his hands and looked about the room for a new jumpsuit. “You people don’t have pants here?” He yelled looking for a camera to complain at. “ STEP INTO OPEN DOOR T-“ 

“FINE IM GOING!” He yelled swatting dismissively at the air as he attempted to retain some dignity and cover himself. 

The next room was start white with a stool with paper on it. He sat and a door swooshed open. It was the doctor from the droid call on the ship accompanied by a gun toting droid. 

“Fantastic, great, my life is just getting better and better.” He mumbled, pinching at his nose. The doctor did not notice as she was still messaging on her holopad. Whoever was on the other end must have been very interesting. 

She finally looked up, almost shocked that he was there, she was cringing internally Migs could see the awkwardness in her eyes. “Oh! Inmate uh- 43667- I think. Good to um see you again.” She said typing on her holo pad. Migs rolled his eyes. 

“ I’ll just scan you quickly.” She said as a bright beam of blue light blinded Migs for a moment. By the time he held up his hand it was gone. 

“Um so you seem healthy overall, no major problems at this time.” She typed away quickly like she wanted to leave. “ I can see your malfunctioned chip on the scan.” 

That piqued his attention. 

“So as of right now you may be in some form of a hormonal overdrive which should be regulated in approximately two days....” she chewed on her lip. 

“To two years.” Migs groaned loudly. 

“So you’re telling me I’m going to be acting like I am for up to to years??!” He said his voice rising. 

“Y-yes then you will regulate to a normal level.... hopefully.”

“Hopefully??” Migs bent over on the stool with his head in his hands. “So let’s say theoretically right.” 

“Theoretically.” The doctor said.

“That ever since I got hit I was having weird feelings, for the guy that may have perhaps hit me. Will those go away when this thing stops working?” 

  
“Inmate 34667, I don’t believe that the chip controls that aspect of um attraction.” 

Migs blinked in confusion. 

“It does not interfere with preference but only suppresses certain hormones that cause...physical and emotional dysfunction while the chip is activated...So you may have always had this preference but when you were chipped it caused you to have certain feelings dampened. ”

  
Migs was still unsure. 

The doctor cringed harder and continued “So with the chip activated one could confuse these feelings with friendship perhaps. And now that the chip is being deactivated you are finally expressing your actual preferences and feelings....”

”So I’ll be fine when this thing gets fixed?” He was still confused. 

The doctor was taken aback for a moment. She chewed on her lip, thinking about what she was going to say. “I think you should watch the informational recording that was produced on this subject. I do believe that it was the one you should have watched bad you gone to get the chip deactivated.” She said as she pressed her holopad. 

“Oh no.” She suddenly said feigning a distraught voice “ I have a very urgent matter to take care of! Please continue to view this video and a droid will provide you with a new uniform and escort you to your cell!” With that she began leaving the room quickly 

“Um am I supposed to get gear fitted or whatever?” Migs called out frustrated but worried. 

“You look like a medium!” She called out as the door shut and a holo recording turned on in the middle of the room. 

It was an unknown man in imperial uniform.


End file.
